pizzaforpresident:

if i was trapped inside a room filled with explosives and the only way out was to eat a whole tomato i would die

(via xyloband)

best-of-funny:

yanderegal:

chickensandwich:

chickensandwich:

if this gets 500 notes i will kill my dad with a shovel

i’m not going to kill my dad. this website is the worst. 

don’t back out now u pussy

X

(Source: chickensandwich, via hm-maybe-tomorrow)

chefboyardeezie:

banjo-jeff:

chefboyardeezie:

when im rich the first thing im doing is getting laser hair removal on every inch of my body that isn’t my head

you’ll look pretty funny without eyebrows

im at least 3% sure that my eyebrows r on my head

(via forfucksakestyles)